The Holidays bring so many fun little projects that I forgot how hard it was to fit these in when working. One of those tasks is Christmas cards, I have the process down pat, however just haven't got around to it yet. The cards are sitting on top of the fridge, the label spreadsheet has been updated and the letter is in my head.
We all know how much the home office loves the Holidays. Kidding, I said if he had some free time he could give the annual letter a shot...well he surprised me and did just that. After reading, I do not think we will be sending it out, but just had to share because it was so funny.
I am proud of my non-letter writing husband, here is his version of the Schmidts '07.
You are about to read one of those lame Christmas letters so many people feel necessary to include in their Christmas cards. For those of you that find these things offensive, read section A (the short version). If, on the other hand you want the full experience, proceed to section B.
SECTION A
We’re doing fine. Hope you’re well, too.
Select one of the options below:
a) Merry Christmas! The Schmidts
b) Happy Hanukkah! The Schmidts
c) Have a swell Kwanzaa! The Schmidts
d) Happy Holidays! The Schmidts
SECTION B
You’ve decided to read section B. We commend you for your good taste and intelligence. You have so much more going for you than those who just read section A.
The past year has brought one major change to the “Schmidt House “. Susan has gone back to work and we have traded a lot of the daily chores around the house, along with the responsibility of the Family Christmas Letter.
I didn’t think writing this letter would be that difficult. I thought all I had to do was Google “Family Christmas Form Letter “ and change the kids names, ages, and activities, and send out the letter.
How different can life be in suburbia?
What I found surprised me, because I have always enjoyed finding out what friends and family have done in the past year and have always been happy to hear that things are going well.
It appears that there are a large number of people who do not care to receive these letters because they believe that the letters contain too much bragging about their family and the previous year.
So, I have decided to write this Christmas Letter to the people who don't care for happy letters. Instead of bragging about how great our past year has been, I have listed all the negative aspects of the past year.
I have bought into my present company, a small engineering and surveying firm that does residential development. This was just in time for to be part of the largest housing recession in the last 60 years. Revenue was down about 30 percent in 2007 and is expected to be down another 30 percent in 2008.
Susan has begun working again and is employed as an independent contractor. Susan doesn’t really like working EVERY SINGLE DAY and would sometimes rather sleep in and be at home with the kids or playing tennis. Susan has been blogging over the past year about our family’s adventures and her blog can be found at http://schmidthouse-maplegrove.blogspot.com/
Allison is nine years old and is in the 4th Grade. Allison is the tallest child in the 4th grade and hates it. Allison spends most of her free time arguing and fighting with her brother and whining about doing simple chores.
Joe is five years old and is in kindergarten. Joe plays hockey and has worked his way up from the worst skater on the team to top of the bottom five skaters. Joe also spends most of his time arguing and fighting with his sister.
Our dog Mia barks too much. She also continues to go through the garbage and make a mess of the house.
Merry #*&(@*% Christmas!
The Schmidts
We all know how much the home office loves the Holidays. Kidding, I said if he had some free time he could give the annual letter a shot...well he surprised me and did just that. After reading, I do not think we will be sending it out, but just had to share because it was so funny.
I am proud of my non-letter writing husband, here is his version of the Schmidts '07.
You are about to read one of those lame Christmas letters so many people feel necessary to include in their Christmas cards. For those of you that find these things offensive, read section A (the short version). If, on the other hand you want the full experience, proceed to section B.
SECTION A
We’re doing fine. Hope you’re well, too.
Select one of the options below:
a) Merry Christmas! The Schmidts
b) Happy Hanukkah! The Schmidts
c) Have a swell Kwanzaa! The Schmidts
d) Happy Holidays! The Schmidts
SECTION B
You’ve decided to read section B. We commend you for your good taste and intelligence. You have so much more going for you than those who just read section A.
The past year has brought one major change to the “Schmidt House “. Susan has gone back to work and we have traded a lot of the daily chores around the house, along with the responsibility of the Family Christmas Letter.
I didn’t think writing this letter would be that difficult. I thought all I had to do was Google “Family Christmas Form Letter “ and change the kids names, ages, and activities, and send out the letter.
How different can life be in suburbia?
What I found surprised me, because I have always enjoyed finding out what friends and family have done in the past year and have always been happy to hear that things are going well.
It appears that there are a large number of people who do not care to receive these letters because they believe that the letters contain too much bragging about their family and the previous year.
So, I have decided to write this Christmas Letter to the people who don't care for happy letters. Instead of bragging about how great our past year has been, I have listed all the negative aspects of the past year.
I have bought into my present company, a small engineering and surveying firm that does residential development. This was just in time for to be part of the largest housing recession in the last 60 years. Revenue was down about 30 percent in 2007 and is expected to be down another 30 percent in 2008.
Susan has begun working again and is employed as an independent contractor. Susan doesn’t really like working EVERY SINGLE DAY and would sometimes rather sleep in and be at home with the kids or playing tennis. Susan has been blogging over the past year about our family’s adventures and her blog can be found at http://schmidthouse-maplegrove.blogspot.com/
Allison is nine years old and is in the 4th Grade. Allison is the tallest child in the 4th grade and hates it. Allison spends most of her free time arguing and fighting with her brother and whining about doing simple chores.
Joe is five years old and is in kindergarten. Joe plays hockey and has worked his way up from the worst skater on the team to top of the bottom five skaters. Joe also spends most of his time arguing and fighting with his sister.
Our dog Mia barks too much. She also continues to go through the garbage and make a mess of the house.
Merry #*&(@*% Christmas!
The Schmidts
Comments
Jody
thanks for the first taste of writing from your lovely husband!
that was awesome, heck, i would send it out. ps. glad to notice i'm not the only one noticing the whole "christmas war" thing :) what kind of silliness is that?
Sue
Merry Christmas, Dan - YOU ROCK!
nik