Thursday, May 31, 2007

Squirrel-pult

JG and NB's latest favorite. Can only imagine what damage they would do with a collander and a few bungee cords...

500 years

I saw this on YouTube this morning and thought I would share. Couldn't help but think about all of these women's lives.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Chipmunks to Winnebagos - all in a day with little man

JG was on a roll today from the moment he got up. The day started with AE crying because her brother and dog had trapped a poor, little chipmunk in the drain spout. I went downstairs to find Mimi on one end and JG on the other armed with his trusty hockey stick ready for action. I had to literally pull both of them away.

The hits just kept on coming.

8:55 a.m. - JG asks if it is a bad thing to hit a wasp nest with a hockey stick. The answer was, "Yes, it is a very bad thing. Why?" The 5 year old answered with "I not know, just wondering."

9:40 a.m. - JG informs Dr. Nash (Dr. Luigi Uff-da as JG calls him since JG thinks Dr. Nash looks like Mario's brother Luigi) he is having a bad hair day. They then have a long conversation about flying squirrels and other rodents.

11:30 a.m. - Went to IKEA to pick up a few things. JG went to the play area before having his favoritest meal in the world MEATBALLS! While leaving the play area after watching Mary Poppins JG informs the woman that he had fun, but "my dad says that Mary Poppins lady is really messed up."

For some reason the home office has big issues with Mary Poppins or maybe it is a Julie Andrews complex. I saw this on YouTube awhile ago and just couldn't resist, maybe this is what he saw as a child, if that is the case I can see why he is messed up:

12:00 p.m. - JG declares french fries covered in gravy then dipped in ketchup are the best food ever made.

2:30 p.m. - While at Lowes JG lets the woman pushing her cart in front of us that she needs to get out of the way because he is a bad driver, but his "mom is way badder."

3:30 p.m. - After trashing the play closet and dumping literally everything on the ground JG declares, "Mommy, you really need to clean this place up cause I can't find anything."

4:45 p.m. - JG loses another bug, this time a ladybug. He tells mom, "it's ok, my ladybug needed to go to have a life of her own."

7:10 p.m. - AE informs mom she would like a pink convertible for her first car. JG says, "that's dumb. I want one of those big houses you drive around in (a Winnebago) for my car cause I want to have lots of parties." AE tells JG no one will want to date him if he drives around in a Winnebago, JG says, "I not care. Mom will go with me. Oh yeah, and my five dogs."

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

It's all fun and games until someone falls through the slats of the deck



JG and his buddy KL had a good time playing with a caterpillar they found in the yard. "Catty" had a good life, his own car, plush digs, until he fell through the deck.

Oh the tragedy!

Friday, May 25, 2007

Oh Puck

I have been trying over the past year to re-gain some of my former piano glory from when I was like 14. I figured I might as well try some of the stuff I used to play since I am home full time and you can only clean the house just so much.

Ambitiously I pulled out a piece from a recital that I played in 1985. It is called Puck by Edvard Grieg. It is really an ugly looking piece with flats all over the place, it is in fact so ugly I cannot for the life of me read it any more and really wonder if I really did play the piece so long ago.

So being the geek I am, I went out to YouTube looking for Puck, or more specifically someone playing Puck. I found someone playing the piece and they play it really well, much better than I ever did. It did jog my memory, however, I am now depressed because the person playing the piece perfectly is like ten years old.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Even more Lost

I have been bemoaning for months that my former, favorite show had gone down the tubes because NOTHING HAPPENED - EVER!

Well, I am back on the bandwagon because so much happened last night it made your head spin. Rather than flashbacks, they had flashforwards and once again I am completely sold. Don't really have a clue as to what happened, but can only imagine.

The only unfortunate part is the show will not be back until next February. Knowing how fickle I am I will have totally forgotten just how good last night felt to be back with my friends from Oceanic Flight 815.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

All things in moderation

Whoops, guess when I was looking through the settings I clicked on something where it moderates comments.

It is off now, so everyone say whatever you like. Yes, Shelly that even means you.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Unicorns to Leprechauns

Stanley has been one of my favorites on The Office for quite some time and this line from last week's season finale was classic. We used to get something very similar to Schrute bucks at work which made me smile. We had our client on ours rather than our boss, let's just say some faces are just not made for currency.

Did anyone else laugh when Creed talked about his own blog Creed Thoughts?

The episode was great, Michael and Jan got back together which was painful to watch and the ending left me with a small glimmer of hope for Jim and Pam.

Wonder what next year has in store with Ryan the Temp in charge?

Friday, May 18, 2007

I never knew how long 20 minutes could be

If I could only have known how true the last line from Thursday's post would become.

"I think it is going to be one of those days."

Our day went along just like every other day until about 8:10 p.m. That's when things kinda fell apart.

The kids and I walked across the street to say good-night to their friends when little man got a wild hair and went running like a fool across the neighbor's back yard. He had been all squirlly Thursday and really pushing the limit.

I watched him run across two backyards and I followed when my friend Lori mentioned she had her porch swing completed and I stopped by to take a look. JG was still in sight and ran up along the side of Lori's house, I then went around the opposite direction to cut him off, pick him up, take him home and immediately deposit him in the bathtub.

I got to the front of the house and there was no little man. That was funny I just saw him run up here, maybe he went back down. So, I went back and asked Lori and her husband Paul if JG was there - the answer was no. There was no JG. Confused I began walking around their house yelling his name, still no JG.

I got Lori and Paul and we looked through their house, garage, their playhouse, our house and yard. Still no JG. By now I was getting upset and assumed he had run off a friend's house so I jumped in the car and went to NB and MO houses. No JG. It was like he vanished.

We have never lost little man, in all of our outings, DisneyWorld, Mexico, State Fair many airports etc. I have never lost the kid, but right here less than 50 yards from our front door our son was gone. The neighbors went into action, in less than ten minutes there were 20 plus people looking for JG, yelling for him and looking in every possible place he may be.

The 20 minutes he was gone was the LONGEST of my life. I found myself wandering, looking for him, yelling his name and thinking that this was not possible he wasn't just around the next corner. The longer he was gone the more scared I became. Lori brought me her cell phone and I began thinking I was going to need to call the police, however in my mind calling them was admitting that I had lost him and it wasn't an option just yet.

By about 8:30 I made up my mind it was time to call the police. I dialed 911 and got the dispatch and began to describe what our son was wearing: green shirt and red flowered swimsuit. I told the woman he was 42 pounds, 3'6" and had brown eyes and blond hair. My heart was beating so hard in my chest it hurt and all I could think was "Is this what they put on one of those Amber Alerts?"

Just then someone yelled, "We found him!"

I can't remember running to the front of the neighbor's house where little man stood. He looked so small. He said, "I was just playing. I wanted to play Ghosts in the Graveyard." He saw all of the people standing in the cul-de-sac. "Why are they here?"

I told them they were all looking for him and he began to cry, so did I.

Evidently little man wanted to play a game when no one else knew what he had in mind and took cover deep in the neighbor's bushes. He hid so well not one of the people looking for him saw him, plus he didn't hear the people yelling his name. Finally he got worried, took a peek to see what was going on when two of the neighbor boys spotted him.

It was a very long evening for the Schmidts, one we don't want to re-live ever again. One lesson we as a neighborhood learned was that we pull together well, I could not believe how fast and how many people were looking for JG. Thank you all.

JG has hopefully learned his lesson, he lost his most prized possession his Game Cube for two weeks and we are so thankful to still have our most prized possession safe at home.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Hot turkey dog

This a.m. little man asked the an inevitable question while lounging with Mimi. "What are hot dogs made of?" I think he finally connected, Mia is a dog, my favorite food is a hot dog...

Do you know how badly I wanted to give the answer Dan Aykroyd's character Roman gave in The Great Outdoors circa 1988?

I told him hot dogs were made out of turkey (why I said turkey I have no idea we have never purchased turkey dogs), which sparked a whole nother barage of questions on why don't they just name them hot turkeys?

I think it is going to be one of those days.

May as well bring Sanjaya back

Yet again I have completely lost all interest in American Idol right before the final week. Like last year when Chris Daughtry was kicked to curb and settled for fourth, Melinda will have to live with being third. You know though, it is almost better to not win anymore, I mean look at Taylor Hicks, he is sure burning up the charts.

I will buy Melinda's album when it comes out because she can sing and she like Chris will be all the better for not having to fit the Idol mold.

So, will it be Blake or Jordin? AE, like every other nine year old in America, is completely thrilled with the showdown. She L-O-V-E-S Jordin and we will more than likely be voting over and over again for the teenager.

We Schmidts will watch the finale, but my friend Luci, my aunt Shirley and I, along with all the other people in America who appreciate good music, will know deep down the best singer won't be the winner - again.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Only 140 days to get the DVR cleaned out before the new shows begin

All of the big networks have released their FALL SCHEDULES ALREADY!!! It is May for God's sake, I cannot remember TV announcements so early, but then again I can't remember a time in my life when I have been involved with so many shows thanks to the blasted DVR.

All of the shows I've become attached to made it past the chopping block most notably Men in Trees (my friend Shelly B will be excited) and October Road, those two I was worried about. Then there are of course the shoo ins: The Office, Heroes and the ever slow moving Lost - something has got to happen someday, so I will not give up yet!!!. Oh yeah and Grey's Anatomy - Shelly N bought me the 1st season for my birthday, so I need to get caught up over the summer or I think she may quit speaking to me.

It always makes me wonder why some shows are cancelled and some are kept alive, case in point is my previously favoritest comedy Arrested Development. Oh, how the home office and I loved that show, I have never seen DLS laugh harder than when Buster, G.O.B. or Tobias would do something stupid, which was often. If you get a chance, rent the series, it is well worth it. Here is a little intro to the dysfunctional Bluth family I miss so very much.

Bad mess, good mess

Now that I have aired my grievances about my miscellaneous budget I thought I would start focusing on the house, since I will be spending more time here and not on the tennis court. I saw the following article in the Star Tribune this morning which I loved and made me relax a little about my house.

Bad mess, good mess Bad mess, good mess

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Hello...Greetings...Hello....Hi There

I was commenting on a previous Grover blog with Kirsten and got all confused. Somehow in my jumbled morning mind I mixed up Grover's classic "Near and Far" with the Yip-Yips. I loved the Yip-Yips, especially when they meet the telephone.

The kids, my mom and I had a pretty good laugh. It sure brings back Sesame Street memories... I had to laugh, AE said, "What the heck kind of phone is that?" I told her it was a rotary phone like Gigi still has to which she responded, "Well, then it must be an antique."

Monday, May 14, 2007

We've got trouble, right here in Maple Grove. It starts with T...that stands for TENNIS

Over the past few weeks we have begun a new exercise in our home - budgeting. I had the brilliant idea to instate said budget when the home office went out to run an errand to the hardware store and came home with a boat.

Well, I thought I was soooo smart, but have learned in the past week I have really gotten myself into a pickle, money wise.

I figured we (the home office and I) would have identical monthly budgets, I was sure I would do famously with what seemed like a huge amount of money. Well, let me tell you, it wasn't as big as I thought because with 16 days left in the month I have $50 to last me. Not such a good idea on my part, DLS has lots and lots of money left and I am even asking for loans at this point, it really kills me to see that "I told you so" look on his face because he knew all along where my money was going.

The saddest part is I have now come to the realization thanks to cold, hard numbers that 50% of my monthly budget is going out the door courtesy of my favorite pastime: TENNIS.

  • Tennis skirt: $27. New duds for summer USTA team, it is quite pretty though, blue with little flowers. I must mention I chose to forgo tennis outfit for summer team #2 which is actually a savings!

  • Tennis tournament: $45. This resulted in trip to Urgent Care and Target pharmacy for infected toe. Toe became infected because new orthotics to help torn ligament raised my foot in size 11 New Balances resulting in great pain for most of my toes/toenails. Very, very ugly. Finally reached realization new shoes were the answer to foot woes, thank God New Balance makes a 12 for women.
  • Foot Magician: $206. Weekly visits to fix bad wheel agitated from playing too much tennis

  • Shoes: $156. Please see explanation for #2 tennis tournament. Oh, also had to buy new Crocs to cover very ugly toes.

  • Urgent Care/Prescription $54. Went in for infected toe as a result of playing 7 tennis matches in 3 days with new orthotics in shoes that are now too small, thanks to foot injury from playing too much tennis - sounds like a vicious circle I've got myself into.

  • Sidenote: This does not include any monies for matches and/or drills, that would be under Workout which is budget line 30. This separate line item really miffs the home office, but at the present time is my only salvation from being negative with did I mention 16 days left in the month?

Doesn't this sound like one of those Master Card commercials where everything in the end is priceless? I don't see what is "priceless" about this whole thing other than my empty pocketbook, but that isn't really priceless, but more so money-less.

I think it might be time to find a new hobby, like quilting. Quilting seemed to do wonders for Karen.

Pooper scooper

We had a nice Mother's Day, spent the afternoon with my mom and aunt in Eden Prairie. The kids had a blast with the four dogs, especially little Izzy. Little man kept busy with the pooper scooper for the better part of an hour. I have never seen the kid stick with something so long. Who knew poop would do it? When he was done, he gave us a lengthy dissertation of his technique, the different kinds of dog droppings and smells (more info than we needed).

When he finished with his speech someone asked him why he decided to clean up Shirley's yard and the answer was: "I did it for my family, cause I love them."

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Does anybody want to buy a doorknob?

Last week little man and I were perusing YouTube on a rainy day and came across this classic Super-Grover. My sister and I used to love Grover, he was the man before that fuzzy red guy Elmo came along. I don't even know if Grover is still around, if not I vote for him to come out of retirement.

JG and his buddy NB have been loving this today, they are playing Super-Grover right now with the attachments from the Shop Vac as I type. Gotta go and confiscate the long black tubes before someone gets hurt or we end up at urgent care with one of them stuck on an arm.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Samsonite - the big gift that costs so little

Today's exercise in patience was made much easier thanks to the Animal, I think the neighbors were wondering if I had a screw loose when I began vacuuming the rocks under our deck. I was waiting for Ted, the guy next door, to give me a bad time because I gave him so much grief this winter when he was shovelling his backyard. It turned out his dog had lost his favorite ball in the snow.

Anyway, I digress...

Sometime on Sunday during the big "wind storm", while the home office was golfing, our glass patio table managed to overturn and shatter into literally a thousand little pieces. The deck and cement weren't too bad to clean up, but the picking glass out of the rocks downright stunk. That was until I took the trusty Animal out and sucked up all the glass and then some.

I went to Seasonal Concepts today to look at a replacement set so we can enjoy this lovely weather with dinner on the deck. I soon discovered most of patio furniture I liked cost more than my first car. I honestly don't know if I can spend $2,500 on a table I know little man will more than likely take a bat to.

I am thinking the circa 1994, blue flowered, wedding gifted, Samsonite folding table and chairs are looking pretty good right about now.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Color my world

OK. I just got done blogging about how blasted busy we have been and here I am on the verge of doing it again. Tomorrow at 9:00 a.m. sharp the Maple Grove Park and Recreation summer program registration begins. Get that, 9:00 a.m. sharp!!!

If you log on at 9:05 you may be completely SOL with some of the programs so better set that alarm, get the game plan ready, find your umpteen family codes and PIN numbers, make sure you have a valid credit card, prioritize your selections, by child, by class, by code, by time, by park, by God.

The Google calendar I put together last week already looks like a kaleidoscope, might as well add on a few more splotches.

I know I am going to hate myself for doing this come about the 18th of July...

I know she's old, but she's not that old

Monday, May 07, 2007

An Investment In Youth

We went to the awards banquet and presentation last night for the District Foundation. It was very nicely put together. AE was so excited and proud she had so many people there to see her receive her award, both sets of grandparents were there, grand-auntie, mom and dad, or and of course her little brother.

AE's biggest surprise was her teacher Mrs. H and her husband attended as well. Her teacher said she "wouldn't have missed it for the world."

Quiet and peace

Today I am looking forward to sitting down, but it will have to wait until 12:15 after I drop the Three Amigos off at pre-school. Then I will relax. This past week has been complete and utter chaos like we Schmidts have not experienced for quite some time.

You know, three years ago this is how our life was every day with both DLS and I working, me travelling, two kids in daycare and just having the weekends to get caught up with life. Sometimes you need these little reminders to appreciate what you have in your life.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

I'd like a Shirley Temple - straight up

Yesterday JG and I were looking at a book about jaguars he picked out at the library. On page six there was a picture of the Chichén Itzá temple in Mexico, I guess the Mayans had a thing for jaguars, who knew?

JG: Mommy, what is this picture?
Mommy: It is a temple.
JG: What's a temple?
Mommy: It is a place where people worship, that one is where they worship jaguars I guess.

JG studied the picture for a bit.

JG: Oh, I get it Mommy.
Mommy: Get what?
JG: That's where Shirley lives?
Mommy: Shirley who?
JG: Mommy, you know Shirley's Temple.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Burning daylight

Our daughter is chomping at the bit to get outside and wait for the bus. It is 8:10 a.m. and the bus will not arrive in front of our house for another 40 minutes, but that is of little consequence to her. She has people to see and things to do, she is very much like her father in this respect, as DLS says often while waiting yet again for me "we're burning daylight!"

It reminds me of a little story about my sister and me (I shared this with the college girlfriends this weekend) in high school. My sister had this need to be at the school every morning when the doors opened so she could begin her social schedule. I, on the other hand, stayed in bed until the last possible moment and would barely make it into the school by the time the bell had rung. This posed a real problem once we were both at the same school and were dependent upon one another to get there = we had a snazzy K-car, but only I could legally drive it.

One morning we were running late, as usual, thanks to me, and my sister had just had enough. We were walking out the door of the kitchen when she pushed me to get going faster I managed to trip and scatter all of my umpteen class folders and papers all over the garage. At that point she lost it.

"WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A BAG?" she screamed.

Our father was in the kitchen listening to the free show going on in the garage, yet again and decided to put in his two cents of parenting.

He came over to the door, looked at my sister and said, "She doesn't need a bag, she has you."

He then turned and slammed the door leaving us in the dark.