Wednesday, October 31, 2007

This is what happens when you don't get enough sleep

So today, I am sad to admit, I had another incident in the parking garage at work. I have learned to park in the exact same spot each day now by the same pole just so I won't lose the truckster again. This little encounter had nothing to do with location, location, location, but more so the fact that I really did get only 5 hours of sleep last night.

I left work, frantically trying to get to the Halloween Parade for little man, it's his 1st school party event and I just could not miss it. So I was booking it because I was on Schmidt time (translation: about 5 minutes late).

I got to my car and noticed a HUGE scrape on the back side bumper. I stood there shocked that I had not noticed it before. I thought to myself, "It's mud, gotta be mud." Went up and started trying to rub the mud off the truckster, but no dice. It wasn't mud, but instead a huge scrape like I originally thought. It was about 6in x 6 in and the paint was flaking off.

I started to get that mad, "I can't believe I didn't notice I hit anything" feeling which soon turns to "someone had to of hit me in the parking garage" certainty. The nerve of some people, how could you just do this to someone's new car and drive away?????

I took a deep breath, realized there really wasn't anything I could do about it now, since I was now 8 minutes late to the Halloween parade. So I pulled out my cell to call the home office to let him know I scuffed the new vehicle I have had less than 4 months, probably because I hit something - DLS always thinks it was me hitting something - which has been the case more often than not - stories for another day, another blog.

While I dialed the number, I turned and again looked at the back of the van and thought to myself, "I didn't know we had a hitch on the van?"

Well, that would be because we don't have a hitch on my van, but instead the hitch was on the other gray minivan parked one spot away from my unscuffed, unmuddied truckster.

I closed the phone, looked around to see if anyone else saw me scraping the mud and stomping around by another's van, I didn't see anyone and quietly drove away - laughing and thinking I really need to get to bed a little earlier tonight.

How did it get to be November already?

OK where did October go?

Seriously, it feels like yesterday was September and the kids were starting school - little man, was just getting into the swing of daycare and then BAM - November, turkey is just around the corner.

This past week has been busy - which is obvious by my lack of blogging - I enjoy it so, however just don't seem to be able to fit the time in except for right now at 4:25 a.m. because I can't sleep because I am stressing about work.

How can you stress about a contract job? Well, leave it to me to figure that one out - I forgot to book my travel for Omaha (actually York, NE) and remembered in the middle of the night.

I guess when you are a contractor you become your own travel agent as well.

My forgetfulness left me with a longer drive - Omaha to York vs. Lincoln to York - the Hampton Inn in York, NE population 8,081 and a Chevy Cobalt car to drive the 106.52 miles from Omaha to York, NE home of the Nebraska Correctional Institute for Women.

I forgot the life of an agricultural "employee", I get to drive around with a Farm Marketer for a few days while they set up grain contracts with farmers so I can document their job and what processes would make their lives easier with a new system to track their sales calls. It should be interesting - always is - the best part I am sure will be the stories, which you know I will share upon my return.

Oh, guess what? Next stop may be Southern Illinois or Sioux Falls? Hear that girls? I may be able to meet for lunch and meet up with my blogging buddies.

Carey - if I do come I will bring you cookies. I have been trying to fit in baking a couple dozen to send to Montrose, SD as a surprise - however, have not been able to find the time nor the recipe.
You know what would maybe be even better? Having a sleepover and baking cookies at your house!

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Typical morning routine

Now that JG has to actually get out of bed before 9:00 a.m. here is how our mornings usually start:

Mom: JG is time to get up.
JG: I not want to.
Mom: You have to go to Barb's (daycare).
JG: I not want to.

Mom gets little man dressed while he lays there like a slug.

Mom: OK let's go.
JG: I not want to.

Pause, while mom collects her wits and takes a deep breath.

JG: Mom, I want to stay home and play with NB today.
Mom: Sorry, I won't be here today.
JG: That's ok. NB and I can stay here, I promise we won't start a fire, the police not come either.
Mom: Well, if mommy leaves you here alone the police will come and take mommy to jail.

Another looonnnnggg stalling pause.

JG: That's ok mom. I will come visit you in jail.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Sunday, October 21, 2007

All is well

Hey, just wanted to let you all know that we Schmidts are doing fine. I think my last blog gave the impression I wasn't loving work. That is not the case, we are just finding our way - Dan has really stepped up, so have the kids.

So far - so good.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

The first week of a return to work mom

Number of days I have worked: 6
Number of days I have been paid for: Zero - haven't figured out the contractor time tracking system
Hours I have spent wandering "the Complex": At least 2
**Disclaimer: I truly believe whoever designed this building must have done some previous work at the Winchester Mansion.
Average number of outfits tried on each morning: 2.5
Number of times I have heard the word "server" while sitting at my desk: 3,249
Dinners on the table by 6:00 p.m.: 2
Minutes of sleep I am deprived of each morning: 90
Tennis matches played: Zero
Books read: Not a one
Loads of laundry done on Saturday vs. throughout the week: 8
How many stops the bus from 394 to Vicksburg makes in afternoon: 7
Minutes to spare if I get behind said bus: -3
Times I have asked myself: why does it feel like I never left the workforce?: Too many to count

Monday, October 15, 2007

Happy Birthday Dan!

Today is Dan's birthday and in honor of this day I really wanted to write something similar to what I did for my mom. I have been spinning ideas around in my head for the past few days with all kinds of funny little bits to add to tell the world how much I appreciate him.

However, knowing my husband like I do I would imagine he would rather have a root canal than read a web ode to him on his 39th birthday.

So I will keep it simple.

Happy Birthday, honey!

Sunday, October 14, 2007

How painful can naming a virtual pet be?

I just got done helping little man name his latest Webkinz, actually it is DLS' Webkinz - JG said he talked DLS into letting him buy DLS a Webkinz as JG's birthday gift to him cause he loves him since he helps with his other Webkinz.

Got that?

Basically JG scammed another Webkinz. He is getting quite creative.

It took us a good 10 minutes to come up with a name for his Big 'Kinz elephant because mom wasn't really cool with the name he came up with.

JG originally decided that the elephant should be called "Horn" because according to him the elephant has horns. I couldn't talk him into believing that the horns are actually called tusks. NO GO. JG has this little habit of adding a "Y" to end of pretty much everything these days which is why I was leery of the name from the get go. After a few minutes the elephant became affectionately, "Horny".

You see now why I was having issues. I am cool with a polar bear named "Snowy" but just can't deal with an elephant named "Horny".

So we started the conversation again when we actually got to the adoption page and needed to type in elephant's moniker.

Mom: How about George?
JG: Mom, we can't name him George - that's a monkey.
Mom: OK, well then how about Dumbo?
JG: Yeah, that sounds good.

I begin typing, D-U-M...

JG: Wait mom I can't have a name with dumb in it, that's not nice.
Mom: What about Jumbo?
JG: OK - no not Jumbo. I don't want a name with "Bo" in it. It's weird.
Mom: Maybe Pete?
JG: Why would I name my elephant Pete? He doesn't like that name.
Mom: Well, JG I don't know. I gave you all of my suggestions I can come up with right now.

After much thought and re-typing the elephant has a name.

FUZZ - or 10 minutes from now - FUZZY.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

The guinea pig gauntlet

I always knew our daughter had selective "performance", ever since her pre-school graduation when she wouldn't practice the song for their commencement - when she did attempt it she usually ended up in tears because she couldn't remember the words.

I held my breath when the big day arrived, AE put on her big smile and led the class in a sing-a-long. I knew then we were going to be in for an interesting ride.

This basketball season for AE thus far has been very underwhelming, compared to previous years. She is the tallest girl in the 4th grade league, but has scored maybe 4 points and 3 rebounds a game. She is just very lackadaisical about the whole thing, which is frustrating for her parents who must sit and watch the devil may care basketball.

On the way to her 8 a.m. game AE was all about trying to talk her parentals into letting her get a guinea pig. DLS pretty much put an end to the discussion when AE brought it up again.

Finally he said, "You know what AE? You score 18 points today and we will maybe talk about a guinea pig."

So what does our daughter do?

She goes out and scores 18, plus had just as many rebounds and a bunch of assists.

So after the game we Schmidts went guinea pig window shopping. DLS has now thrown down the "continue the triple double" gauntlet and maybe Santa will bring you a little furry pet for Christmas.

Knowing AE, we will have a new pet in the Schmidt house by the beginning of '08. Who would ever of thought our daughter would be motivated by rodents?

Friday, October 12, 2007

Star Wars blows it big time

OK. This is just too funny not to share.

I was a third chair clarinet all through Junior High and I seriously believe I could probably do a better job playing the trumpet. Check out the '80s hair, it makes me a little teary because I had the same exact style from '88-'92.

You know the funniest thing is that little man thinks Stacy is really cute and she plays the trumpet way good.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Lost in Wayzata - again

Today I got lost for 10 minutes in the parking garage.

Do you know how many #&*$@()# silver minivans are driven by Cargill employess?

A lot.

Finally had to push the panic button, unfortunetly it wasn't my car I was aiming at and had to run like a bat out of hell to get to mine and turn off the horn announcing - HEY SHE LOST HER CAR!!!

Random office notes

I can't even begin to explain what a small world this is. Just when you think you have some level of anonymity - BAM - there is someone from the past staring you right in the face. This has got to be one of those lessons where someone is trying to tell me something - well, I've got my ears wide open - what's the word?

I think I will just take the ironic advice from my horoscope from today - should have read it BEFORE I went to work, instead of after.

Try not to think too much about what is "supposed" to happen next, dear Libra. The truth of the matter is that things don't necessarily work out the way they are planned, so don't count on something that has no guarantee of ever coming to fruition. Stick to your own way of doing things and try not to get too hung up on the results. The key now is to enjoy the process.

On a side note, one of my co-workers went into great detail about an alien today. It is the most he has ever talked to me and it all centered around a "chia-pet" alien thing his son received as a gift. I guess he had to get up at like 4 a.m. for the care and feeding of this alien life form that was living in some bubble thing. He did seem rather sad when he told me the alien recently met its demise.

The other hot topic of conversation today in the bullpen was whether an egg would truly stand on its end during the vernal equinox - yes, five people really did have this conversation in front of my desk. They wondered if this would only happen if you were on the equator, so began trip plans for Equador in March, since darn they just missed the autumnal equinox.

Oh, another thing I am really finding funny is that we are are seriously sitting in the basement - just like in Office Space - I do believe one of these days I am going to turn the corner and Milton will be sitting at a desk with his red Swingline. They try to tell us we're on the "Garden Level", however I know way better than that. G is for Ground Level not Garden. :-)

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Canola, help desk hell and hanging with Mike and Larry

Work so far is going well. I cannot believe how large the Cargill corporate office is - I seriously got lost going to and from the bathroom. I got all messed up when I left our "pod" because I didn't look to see what the sign hanging from the ceiling said. I knew I sit in "Grain I/T", however when I got back from the restroom all I saw was a sign for "Canola". Go figure - guess Canola and Grain sit together.

I am in the middle of IT land with programmers abound. I get to share a "bullpen" (four desks in a common area with a table in the middle - the table is the home to 2 monitors, a bunch of cables and is surrounded by boxes full of more techie stuff) with Mike and Larry - both are rather interesting. Larry likes the NY Jets and Mike evidently likes Amish furniture. Those are the only things the two have talked about. Haven't quite figured out why Mike carries around a 1% milk jug full of water wherever he goes - haven't seen him drink the murky water - then again I don't think I want to see that. You know I will eventually ask what the is the purpose of carrying around a milk jug...

I am feeling a bit disconnected from the outside world since I can't get to my home email on the Internet - everything is blocked. Plus I messed up one of my 3,239 passwords to get into the Internet - I did decide after today's exercise in patience I AM NOT CALLING THE HELP DESK UNLESS MY LAPTOP STARTS ON FIRE. The help desk support is in India and it took the poor girl 17 minutes (14 minutes of which I was on hold) to figure out she couldn't help me anyway. We did spend most of the three minutes she actually conversed with me trying to figure out if one another was saying "e" or "c" in Schmidt. Let's just say it was painful.

Overall, it is going fine now that I know where the cafeteria, the bathroom and the parking garage are located.I am sure there will be more adventures to come, let's just say Cargill has definitely got their moneys worth out of me so far.

Monday, October 08, 2007

Are we ready for this?

This is the Schmidt's theme song of the day - thanks everyone for all of the well wishes. Here we go again...

Saturday, October 06, 2007

How did we get to Saturday already?

OK I pretty much didn't get anything done that I wanted to get done.

I did however:
  • find a pair of brown shoes (it seems easier than it really is)
  • try unsuccessfully to get out of Turkey Bingo
  • split tennis matches
  • get stuff together for Goodwill - haven't made it there yet - must get done because it is rolling around the back of the family truckster
  • cook two Costco stew dinners
  • wash the same load of laundry three times thanks to something red in the mix
  • decorate for Halloween
  • decorate the laundry room - yes I think it is time to go back to work if I am putting foliage in the place where I sort dirty socks, however it makes me happy, the foliage that is not the socks
  • help 9 year old girls learn an inbound play for basketball
  • watch same 9 year old girls run the inbound play successfully - 50% of the time
  • read two books - neither of which are the book club book I need to read before next Thursday
  • organize Schmidt family calendar on Google so we will hopefully know where we are supposed to be
  • had pancakes with Gigi and Mom
  • drove all over creation in search of racoon and polar bear Webkinz
  • started a diet - the year of gluttony must come to an end - can't continue to use excuse of bad wheel - wheel is fine - workout and eating habits are not
  • realize the kids only have school the next 7 out of 10 days - now that mom is not at home must find somewhere for kiddies to go
  • start to get nervous about work on Monday.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Too early in the a.m. for this conversation

This morning we had to get up early so AE could get to her dentist appointment, she had her first cavity and we needed to get it taken care of.

While we were on the way a passenger in the family truckster really began to stink up a storm.

I asked, "Who tooted?"

AE immediately said, "NOT ME MOM! That's a JG toot."

JG was half asleep in his carseat and immediately denied any involvement in the stench.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

There was a pause.

"I not know, maybe it was me, but I not felt it come out of my butt."

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Can't get this little ditty out of my head...

I have been singing this in my head and attempting to whistle today while riding in the car. The video is funny - kinda reminds me of the Brady Bunch. Remember when the Brady Kids had their own cartoon with that mynah bird Marlon and wasn't there pandas too? The guy playing the bongos reminds me of Conan O'Brien for some reason.

Hope you enjoy this as much as I have today.

JG's Hockey Hits

Dan and I were talking tonight about little man and his hockey adventures, not only as a participant but as a spectator. We got to laughing about JG and some of the silly things he has said at hockey games.

Last Sunday, as JG sat eating his cheesy pretzel at the Wild vs. Blackhawks game, he asked dad, "You know that part where they drop their sticks and gloves and then like punch each other?"

"Yeah," Dan replied.

"I like that part," JG said, then went back to eating his pretzel.

Then there is my personal favorite:

JG and Dan went to a Gopher game last season, AE and I were up reading in her room when they got home. We heard JG running up the stairs to tell us about the game, "Mom, the game was way cool. The Gophers won!"

"That's great honey, who did they play?"

Without blinking an eye he replied, "The a**holes."

"What? Who did they play?"

"I told you. The a**holes."

At that moment, I yelled for little man's hockey escort (aka the Home Office) for an explanation.

Evidently, JG and Dan's seats were smack dab in the middle of the student section and there was one lone Michigan State fan in the middle of Gopher territory. When Michigan State would score the brave Spartan would cheer to which he would receive the entire student sections taunts of "A**HOLE". I guess Dan was looking to the right, little man was to the left and JG joined in with the taunting after being encouraged by some of the students.

We explained that the name he was calling the other team was a bad word which he shouldn't repeat, although after my reaction and subsequent explanation I wouldn't be surprised if he still thought Spartan was a bad word as well.