Last Friday I caught a little bit of the Today show - by the way, I don't think I am really loving Meredith Viera, I wish Katie would come back - maybe she will if her evening news gig continues to tank. Anyway I digress, there was a piece about moms and playdates, it was called Happy Hour for Moms? and it has got me all worked up in more ways than one.
First, the whole drinking at playdates and how the piece portrayed mothers whether this was achieved by editing or if these women really said the things in relevant context is in question. Bottom line - it made the moms featured look like women who had to have a drink to get through the day. One quote basically said, "Sober mothers aren't good mothers." Whatever. Like I said, it is amazing what a little editing can do.
I think these women want to have fun, relax, exercise the right to be responsible adults and good mothers at the same time. They are not going to put their children in harms way. Once again the media put their spin on the subject and let it roll. It is just another example of where women, especially mothers, are held to a higher standard.
What is the difference between these playdates and grilling out in the backyard with the friends on a Saturday? Personally I would bet the children would be safer at the playdate with the solo moms drinking a glass of wine versus a BBQ with fathers, flames and lager.
After the piece aired, Today had two women with Meredith to discuss whether playdates and happy hour mix. The first was Dr. Janet (the expert) and the second was Melissa Summers - a mother and blogger (just like many of us) from Detroit. The women began to debate whether it was appropriate for this type of parent/child socializing to co-exist.
The Dr. put on her puritanical hat and essentially repeated the same statement at every opportunity. I did agree with her on a few points. I don't believe that you have to have alcohol to have fun or to socialize, however I believe that it is choice of the adult individual and it does not make a woman a bad mother if she has a drink. You can't tell me that Dr. Janet, mother of four, wouldn't maybe want a glass of wine after a very long Saturday at home with FOUR CHILDREN.
The other woman, Melissa the blogger, was in my opinion the sacrificial lamb. I will admit I didn't know what to think of her at first. I believe the first statement out of her mouth was something like, "I don't drink to get drunk anymore. In college I drank to get drunk." Not really the best choice of words right off the bat, but you know what? Who didn't drink in college to get drunk? I am guilty of that, plus have a few friends just as guilty as me - I have many blurry photos with bad 80s hair to prove our guilt.
Melissa then went on to say she thought about putting her son on eBay after a bad day - another thing not to admit on TV - then again, who hasn't wished for a Calgon moment? Maybe eBay is her Calgon. Who knows? Just probably wouldn't have admitted to eBay sale of son and binge drinking in front of 2.7 million Americans. I bet her folks were proud at that moment and maybe rethinking telling the entire Bible study group to watch their daughter on national TV.
I believe Melissa was being herself and trying to say something witty. Can't really throw any stones at her for being honest and sarcastic. Who knows what kind of stupid statements would come out of my mouth if I was put in front of America on live TV? As one of my former co-workers said once, "If you live in a glass house don't throw stones, however if you don't live in a house throw as many as you'd like."
While I am on a roll, the other thing that got me really miffed was Meredith Viera. She asked Melissa if she would allow a babysitter to drink while watching her children. Melissa stated, no because she was paying her to do a job versus she is the mother. Meredith then said, "What's the difference?" That's great, Meredith Viera just compared stay-at-home moms to babysitters, I am sure that will do wonders to the ratings.
I think the saddest outcome of this piece based upon looking at boards and other blogs is it just widened the gap on the Mommy Wars - women judging other women on their parenting skills whether it is staying at home vs. working, drinking vs. not drinking, spanking vs. time-outs it goes on and on and on and on...
For this mommy, the rant has gone on and on and on long enough... I need to go have a drink.
First, the whole drinking at playdates and how the piece portrayed mothers whether this was achieved by editing or if these women really said the things in relevant context is in question. Bottom line - it made the moms featured look like women who had to have a drink to get through the day. One quote basically said, "Sober mothers aren't good mothers." Whatever. Like I said, it is amazing what a little editing can do.
I think these women want to have fun, relax, exercise the right to be responsible adults and good mothers at the same time. They are not going to put their children in harms way. Once again the media put their spin on the subject and let it roll. It is just another example of where women, especially mothers, are held to a higher standard.
What is the difference between these playdates and grilling out in the backyard with the friends on a Saturday? Personally I would bet the children would be safer at the playdate with the solo moms drinking a glass of wine versus a BBQ with fathers, flames and lager.
After the piece aired, Today had two women with Meredith to discuss whether playdates and happy hour mix. The first was Dr. Janet (the expert) and the second was Melissa Summers - a mother and blogger (just like many of us) from Detroit. The women began to debate whether it was appropriate for this type of parent/child socializing to co-exist.
The Dr. put on her puritanical hat and essentially repeated the same statement at every opportunity. I did agree with her on a few points. I don't believe that you have to have alcohol to have fun or to socialize, however I believe that it is choice of the adult individual and it does not make a woman a bad mother if she has a drink. You can't tell me that Dr. Janet, mother of four, wouldn't maybe want a glass of wine after a very long Saturday at home with FOUR CHILDREN.
The other woman, Melissa the blogger, was in my opinion the sacrificial lamb. I will admit I didn't know what to think of her at first. I believe the first statement out of her mouth was something like, "I don't drink to get drunk anymore. In college I drank to get drunk." Not really the best choice of words right off the bat, but you know what? Who didn't drink in college to get drunk? I am guilty of that, plus have a few friends just as guilty as me - I have many blurry photos with bad 80s hair to prove our guilt.
Melissa then went on to say she thought about putting her son on eBay after a bad day - another thing not to admit on TV - then again, who hasn't wished for a Calgon moment? Maybe eBay is her Calgon. Who knows? Just probably wouldn't have admitted to eBay sale of son and binge drinking in front of 2.7 million Americans. I bet her folks were proud at that moment and maybe rethinking telling the entire Bible study group to watch their daughter on national TV.
I believe Melissa was being herself and trying to say something witty. Can't really throw any stones at her for being honest and sarcastic. Who knows what kind of stupid statements would come out of my mouth if I was put in front of America on live TV? As one of my former co-workers said once, "If you live in a glass house don't throw stones, however if you don't live in a house throw as many as you'd like."
While I am on a roll, the other thing that got me really miffed was Meredith Viera. She asked Melissa if she would allow a babysitter to drink while watching her children. Melissa stated, no because she was paying her to do a job versus she is the mother. Meredith then said, "What's the difference?" That's great, Meredith Viera just compared stay-at-home moms to babysitters, I am sure that will do wonders to the ratings.
I think the saddest outcome of this piece based upon looking at boards and other blogs is it just widened the gap on the Mommy Wars - women judging other women on their parenting skills whether it is staying at home vs. working, drinking vs. not drinking, spanking vs. time-outs it goes on and on and on and on...
For this mommy, the rant has gone on and on and on long enough... I need to go have a drink.
Comments
The chichi mommies up in the cul-de-sac have invited me to Happy Hour Playdate on the occasional Friday afternoon. I think it's a brilliant way to end a week. The kids run amok in the safety of the cul-de-sac while the mommies unwind over a cocktail in the driveway. What could be better?