Skip to main content

Other Atrocious Lies

OK I randomly picked up a book at the library this week and am about 50 pages into it. I know I haven't finished it, but just had to write because so far it is one of the funniest books I have ever read. It is called I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies): True Tales of a Loudmouth Girl by Laurie Notaro. I was in bed reading last night and laughing out loud, DLS asked what was so funny and I read a few pages from the chapter "Pain in the Assisi" to him. I was laughing so hard he couldn't understand what I was saying and proceeded to fall asleep, typical.

So far I am loving Notaro's interactions with her mother who is obsessed with QVC. The author and her sister are amazed by the amount of crap their mother manages to purchase from the shopping channel. The siblings call it "This is Your Brain on QVC" rather than "This is Your Brain on Drugs" to their mother it is the same difference. Here is one of the funniest exchanges thus far between the author and her mother:

On the last scouting expedition of This Is Your Brain on QVC, my sister and I discovered these delicious-smelling muffins, which is what they looked like, but on closer inspection it was discovered that these were no muffins at all. They were candles. Muffin candles. I mean, they smelled like muffins, they looked like muffins, but eating them would have been like eating a Glade Solid or a stick of Mennen. So I was forced to ask her what they were, and she looked at me like I was stupid. "They're muffin candles, " she said much like she would say, "This is a candle. And this is a muffin." Separately, they're fine, I was dying to tell her, it's together that they are a problem.

So I said, "Well, why don't you burn them?"
And she said, "Because they're not for burning. Burning would melt them."
So I said, "Well, what are they for then?"
And she said, "To look like muffins."
So I said, "Then why don't you just get some muffins?"
And she said, "What, are you an idiot? You just can't leave muffins on the counter day in and day out without people thinking you live like an animal! I don't want people running around town, saying that I keep the same old muffins on the counter!"

Comments

Karen said…
Keep 'em coming! I'm 40 pages into "Joe" and loving it.
Susan said…
Oh good. I am so glad you like it.
Anonymous said…
I want that book, right after you loan me the next Outlander book. (do I sound like a six-year-old?)

Have you read "Eat, Pray, Love" yet? Also fabulous. Lots of snorting and head shaking ("am I as crazy as the author?") I just loaned it to a full-time friend, so I'll pass it your way when she's done.

Happiness!
Luci

Popular posts from this blog

Gainfully employed

I heard back last night from Cargill , I start back into the world of the gainfully employed as an independent contractor on October 8 th . My old client, who will now be my new client, Jeff wrote: I'm thrilled we get to work together again. This is the most important project our business unit has taken on in a lot of years so I feel a lot better knowing you're going to be part of it. OK now I'm nervous. Eeek - the most important project? Whoa, better bring the A game, but you know I am excited - scared - but am ready to go. I have so much to do before the 8 th , gotta get the list together to make the most of my kid free week (now that litte man is at daycare in the a.m.). Let's see: 1) Paint basement. 2) Purge house of clutter - how can we accumulate this much crap? 3) Goodwill and library drop off - Maple Grove Library is taking donations until Oct. 6 th !!! 4) Get the yard ready for winter - should I plant more bulbs? 5) Put basement back together - IKEA run ma

Z is like for Zodiac

Shelly and I went to the movie Zodiac last night. The theater was nearly packed with mostly men and couples, so it was a bit obvious when two teenage girls talking on cell phones walked into the movie 20 minutes late. Shelly turned to me, "Why would you even come to a movie like this if you are 20 minutes late?" I agreed especially since they had already missed the first victims meeting their demise and the opening which told the viewer this was a true story. You just had to know they were going to be lost the rest of the movie, plus the only reason they were probably there was to see Jake Gyllenhaal . The movie was very good, one of the best I have seen since The Departed , I read the book and the prime suspect was much creepier on the screen than I imagined in real life. At the end of the movie, Shelly stopped by the ladies room and I waited outside. The two teenage girls we saw walk in late also went to the ladies room with cell phones glued to their ears already. At our